Alright, so I try hard not to be that girl, but this has kind of been playing on my heart for a few days. And to start off I want to say I will be using myself as an example, not to be sappy or anything else weird, but simply because I know myself best...So it's easy to write about me. Anyways. And boys this post isn't just for girls... you deserve this too.
So I'm 19, and almost all of my friends in one of my friend groups is married. So lately I've been thinking about what I would want in a husband (not because I'm ready to get married. Ohhh no. Thats a few years out.) I've had a list of what I want for a while, but especially in this past year that list has changed a ton. And if you're like me, not married yet, it's going to change for you quite a bit. I know some of the qualities I want in a man, but something new has started to become really clear to me recently. Obviously I want my husband to love me completely and make me believe he does every day (which... if my future husband is reading this... sorry in advance, that's gonna be hard to do. It's not you, it's me), but I realized I want my husband to love specific aspects of my character. I want him to love all of me, but... okay let me try to explain.
Above all I want the man I marry to fall in love with me because of how in love with Christ I am. The most important thing in my relationship will always be God, and I want to find a husband through Him. It would be amazing to be pursued because this guy wants to know about my faith. I want to sit on a couch and just talk about how awesome God is with the man I'll spend my life with... I want the most attractive thing about me to be my faith. And I wanted you to read that first because honestly, that's the most important thing. Marry someone who loves you for who you are in Christ, and who wants to get to know you through your relationship with Him first.
But... I also have something else to say... Christ is first, but here are some other things I want, and I think you should want something similar.
I want to be beautiful in my husband's eye, but I don't want that to be why he loves me. I want to be beautiful because he loves me. I want him to love me because of my passion for music, and I want music to be so much better when we're listening or playing it together. I want him to love me because if we're driving somewhere and he keeps changing the station, odds are I will know the words to 90% of songs, no matter what genre (last night went from country, to classic rock, to a t swizzle song, to wonderwall (kids ask your parents) to screamo, back to country) after roughly .7 words, and I will sing along. I want him to love my stupid humor and share it with me (our love of dumb puns will get us through much). I want him to love me because of how loud and long I laugh at random YouTube videos, and I hope to watch tons of them with him. I hope one of the reasons he loves me is how much I love anime and how excited I get about all things Disney. I don't want him to love me enough to put up with all of my quirks, I want him to love me *because* of my quirks, see the difference?
I have good qualities that make me a good friend, and have made me a good girlfriend in the past, and will help me be a good wife in the future. But those qualities, like honesty, loyalty, and how much I care about others can be found in tons of people. What makes me special are the weird things about me that not everyone else has. I'm not that special because of my good qualities, I'm special because of my weird qualities. You know, I have been called perfect a total of one time in my lifetime, and I'm fairly certain that the person who called me it doesn't remember it at all. But I still remember it, and it still means a lot to me. Because that person didn't just know the good qualities that make me a nice person that's pleasant to be around. That person knew me better than anyone maybe ever has. They knew all of the things that make me crazy and weird and super strange. But they still called me perfect. The only person to call me perfect, called me perfect because of how unique my oddness is. You need to be proud of your good qualities, and bestow them on the world, because there's a reason God gave them to you and gave the world you in turn. But when looking for the person you're going to be spending your life with, you totally should be looking for that sweet, caring, trustworthy, devoted person they always talk about in the movies... But also look for the person who's weirdness is what makes you love them, and vice versa. God made you unique in so many ways, and you deserve to find someone who sees all of them, and loves you for them. We all have friends who love us and accept us for ourselves (hopefully) but, trust me, its amazing when you find someone who pretty much every time you learn something new about them... something strange... makes you fall in love with them just a little more.
Girls, wait for the guy who falls in love with you because you made up onezee (I have no idea how to spell that at all) Wednesday, or run a philosophy twitter page. Guys, wait for the girl who falls in love with you because you get super intense about your video games, or you read Jane Austin novels. Plenty of people are going to love you because you're sweet, and protective, and funny, but choose the ones who love you for those things, but fall in love with you for the special things that make you you.
Guys, wait for the person that you love, not because when you feel like you're 100% yourself they still accept you, but because they love you most when you're 100% yourself.
