Be yourself, because everyone else is already taken.

I come from a very small school where everyone knows me by name. (Whether I know them is a completely different story, but everyone knew me). Most of them also knew my story and what I stand for. I never had a problem with this, because I'm a very open book, and no one ever made fun of me for it, normally people just asked me deep questions about my beliefs. I mean, at some points it got overwhelming and I wished that I could just go somewhere where everybody doesn't know my name. (Anyone get that reference? Anyone?) I think one of the things I found so exciting about going to college was that I was finally going to get away from the same stories and faces. Don't get me wrong, I love everyone from my hometown and I miss it a ton every. day. But I do think I needed to get away from home for a bit. But now to the point of my post.

College is hard.

Before I go any further, I need to point out that I am, maybe 5 weeks into college (I don't even know). This is the farthest I've been from home without my dad. Yeah it's gonna be hard. I'm not a unique case. This isn't my family's, or friend's, or college's fault. No one can do anything about it, this is  just a growing up experience. I'm not totally miserable. This isn't a post to say how horrible life is for me and how all of you should be sad for me. No. I'm fine, just homesick. Get that? Okay? Good? Good.

Anyways, college is hard. I don't mean the classes are hard, yet, I mostly mean the social life. I don't even know how many people are at my college, but I'm pretty sure my class is bigger than my entire high school put together. And coming to college I didn't know any of them. A few thousand people who don't know me at all is a big change from a few hundred people who all knew me fairly well. Let me tell you a story about why it is important for me to adjust to this.

I went with some of my friends to a senior's apartment to study for a test. None of these people knew me very well, it only being a few weeks into school. But I get comfortable around people very fast. So when the senior asked us if we wanted anything to drink, my first response was "yeah got any beer?".

Back at my high school, everyone knows that I wouldn't touch beer with a 30 foot pole. Not only because it's illegal, but also because I hate alcohol, and much more importantly it's against my moral code. People don't really know this at my college. To them I'm some random chick who's from Massachusetts and talks about hockey a lot. It was even worse for the senior who's apartment I was at, because we had met about 30 minutes before, when I walked into the apartment. It didn't occur to me to actually explain that I was joking, because back at high school I wouldn't need to explain it. Thankfully my friend who did know me explained to the senior that I wasn't actually being serious, and I'm just a really odd person. The senior understood and forgave my strangeness, and I would like to think we're friends now. But I do often wonder what that senior would think of me if my other friend had not reminded me that I actually have to clarify when I'm joking.

People don't know me or my story here, and honestly it's really hard to remember people are getting their first impression of me here. I can't just be my weird, sarcastic self here because people will think I'm a terrible person. I have to show people that I am actually nice (at least so I've been told) and normal, before I can show them that I'm insane. That's hard guys. That's really hard. And even though there were times I wish people just didn't know me when I was at high school, I really miss everyone knowing me. I hate how people see me now might be how they see me for the next four years of my life.

But that's the same everywhere, trust me I am perfectly aware that changing colleges isn't going to change anything. In fact it would just make it worse. I'm just saying it's hard.

So here's my advice to all you other first years struggling to fit in. Be yourself. I know it's a radical thought, but honestly I think people don't do that enough. You're at a new place where no one knows you now. That doesn't mean that you have to re-invent yourself into someone you think other people will like better. Here's another radical thought-if you do want to re-invent yourself, re-invent yourself into someone you like better. There are people out who are going to love you for exactly who you are, and those are the people you want to be friends with.

Back to the story above. The senior in question is seriously one of the nicest people I've ever met, and instantly forgave me for being so weird. But what if the senior didn't forgive me, and if that one comment turned them away from me forever? That one comment could have ruined a friendship. But guess what. If that one comment turned him away I don't think we could have been good friends anyways. I make jokes and sarcastic comments all the time. Saying things like that is the norm for me. I was completely myself in front of him (though maybe a bit sooner than I normally would be) and he didn't hate me for it! He could handle me being me and didn't judge me (too hard) for it.

You don't have to change who you are to make friends at college. Be yourself. You're a pretty awesome person, and the people who you meet are going to be able to catch onto it. If one part of you turns someone away from you, they are the ones missing out. You are not.

Look I know as well as the next guy how hard it is to go to a new place where no one knows you, but I promise you, if you are true to yourself, you're not going to be alone for very long.

Sorry if that was a little jumbled guys, I hope it made sense. I have a few more things I want to talk about, so it won't be a year till the next post I promise! :-) Love you guys to the moon!!