Happiness.

Before I start, I need to say I'm not the happiest person around, though people have told me they think otherwise. I'm just a very good actress. I'm upset about something or other most days of the year. This post isn't me preaching at you guys, this post is just as much for me as it is for you guys. 

I was talking to this girl I know today about happiness. She said that she was happy some days, but it was okay because that was life. 

That got me thinking. Why is that life? Or rather why do we think that is life? I mean this girl is not the only person who has said that being happy only some days is "life", not by a long shot. I'm not saying that everyone should be happy all day every day with no exceptions, I mean if I was saying that I would be the biggest hypocrite I know. When I told this girl that I didn't think that was life, I thought that was just how too many people, especially in America see it, she asked me how we should see it. 

Well that's a good question. How should we see life, or more specifically happiness's role in our life? Here's my attempt at an answer. 

At first I was thinking an ideal world everyone would not despair, at least in my eyes because of what Christ did for us. William Willimon said in his book Calling and Character that Christian's weren't allowed to despair (don't quote me on that, I might be wrong or I could have misinterpreted what he was saying). I'm honestly not sure how I feel about that anymore, which is something I will post about later. But now to the point. 

Trust me when I say I know that never despairing, even as Christians is impossible. So with that in mind, what is the ideal world? I honestly don't know, but I am pretty sure that I know there is a flaw in the system somewhere. Here's why. 

If you ask anyone who has gone on a missions trip to a third world country, they will tell you that the children they met there, these children who have so much worse lives than we do, are happy all the time. They find joy in everything they can. I live in America, and I'm assuming most of the people reading this are from a first world country. (I'm not saying at all that people in first world countries don't have anything to worry about. Don't take it like that at all. I could talk for hours on the things we need to fix in America to make lives better for it's people, that's just not what I'm writing about now okay? Calm down.) While there are still important things we need to deal with here, we have more than many many countries out there do. And yet I bet we could find more to complain about.

I AM NOT SAYING that America is a privileged country that needs to open it's eyes to the real world (though one could make an argument for that) I'm just saying we need to learn to see all the things we have, rather than all the things we don't have. 

For example I know plenty of people who will get great grades on exams, but they won't see the points they did get, they'll see the small amount of points they didn't get. I am completely one of those people. (Seriously ask ANY of my friends.) Why can't we just stop, and be happy with our grade. And still strive to do better, not because our first grade wasn't good enough, just because we should always strive to be better. 

There is SO MUCH to be happy about in this world. And, yes, there is so much to be sad about in this world. But why do the sad things have to outweigh the good things? Why can't we try to focus on the good things, like those kids who have so little to be happy about? Don't let the joyful things in life pass you by. 

So... be happy guys. You're beautiful (or handsome) when you smile. There are people who love you out there, and I am one of them. I hope for the best of all of you. 

Love you guys!! Hope I helped a little. 

Be yourself, because everyone else is already taken.

I come from a very small school where everyone knows me by name. (Whether I know them is a completely different story, but everyone knew me). Most of them also knew my story and what I stand for. I never had a problem with this, because I'm a very open book, and no one ever made fun of me for it, normally people just asked me deep questions about my beliefs. I mean, at some points it got overwhelming and I wished that I could just go somewhere where everybody doesn't know my name. (Anyone get that reference? Anyone?) I think one of the things I found so exciting about going to college was that I was finally going to get away from the same stories and faces. Don't get me wrong, I love everyone from my hometown and I miss it a ton every. day. But I do think I needed to get away from home for a bit. But now to the point of my post.

College is hard.

Before I go any further, I need to point out that I am, maybe 5 weeks into college (I don't even know). This is the farthest I've been from home without my dad. Yeah it's gonna be hard. I'm not a unique case. This isn't my family's, or friend's, or college's fault. No one can do anything about it, this is  just a growing up experience. I'm not totally miserable. This isn't a post to say how horrible life is for me and how all of you should be sad for me. No. I'm fine, just homesick. Get that? Okay? Good? Good.

Anyways, college is hard. I don't mean the classes are hard, yet, I mostly mean the social life. I don't even know how many people are at my college, but I'm pretty sure my class is bigger than my entire high school put together. And coming to college I didn't know any of them. A few thousand people who don't know me at all is a big change from a few hundred people who all knew me fairly well. Let me tell you a story about why it is important for me to adjust to this.

I went with some of my friends to a senior's apartment to study for a test. None of these people knew me very well, it only being a few weeks into school. But I get comfortable around people very fast. So when the senior asked us if we wanted anything to drink, my first response was "yeah got any beer?".

Back at my high school, everyone knows that I wouldn't touch beer with a 30 foot pole. Not only because it's illegal, but also because I hate alcohol, and much more importantly it's against my moral code. People don't really know this at my college. To them I'm some random chick who's from Massachusetts and talks about hockey a lot. It was even worse for the senior who's apartment I was at, because we had met about 30 minutes before, when I walked into the apartment. It didn't occur to me to actually explain that I was joking, because back at high school I wouldn't need to explain it. Thankfully my friend who did know me explained to the senior that I wasn't actually being serious, and I'm just a really odd person. The senior understood and forgave my strangeness, and I would like to think we're friends now. But I do often wonder what that senior would think of me if my other friend had not reminded me that I actually have to clarify when I'm joking.

People don't know me or my story here, and honestly it's really hard to remember people are getting their first impression of me here. I can't just be my weird, sarcastic self here because people will think I'm a terrible person. I have to show people that I am actually nice (at least so I've been told) and normal, before I can show them that I'm insane. That's hard guys. That's really hard. And even though there were times I wish people just didn't know me when I was at high school, I really miss everyone knowing me. I hate how people see me now might be how they see me for the next four years of my life.

But that's the same everywhere, trust me I am perfectly aware that changing colleges isn't going to change anything. In fact it would just make it worse. I'm just saying it's hard.

So here's my advice to all you other first years struggling to fit in. Be yourself. I know it's a radical thought, but honestly I think people don't do that enough. You're at a new place where no one knows you now. That doesn't mean that you have to re-invent yourself into someone you think other people will like better. Here's another radical thought-if you do want to re-invent yourself, re-invent yourself into someone you like better. There are people out who are going to love you for exactly who you are, and those are the people you want to be friends with.

Back to the story above. The senior in question is seriously one of the nicest people I've ever met, and instantly forgave me for being so weird. But what if the senior didn't forgive me, and if that one comment turned them away from me forever? That one comment could have ruined a friendship. But guess what. If that one comment turned him away I don't think we could have been good friends anyways. I make jokes and sarcastic comments all the time. Saying things like that is the norm for me. I was completely myself in front of him (though maybe a bit sooner than I normally would be) and he didn't hate me for it! He could handle me being me and didn't judge me (too hard) for it.

You don't have to change who you are to make friends at college. Be yourself. You're a pretty awesome person, and the people who you meet are going to be able to catch onto it. If one part of you turns someone away from you, they are the ones missing out. You are not.

Look I know as well as the next guy how hard it is to go to a new place where no one knows you, but I promise you, if you are true to yourself, you're not going to be alone for very long.

Sorry if that was a little jumbled guys, I hope it made sense. I have a few more things I want to talk about, so it won't be a year till the next post I promise! :-) Love you guys to the moon!!

Wars

In my sophomore year of high school, we were talking about war in my history class. I forget exactly what I said, but whatever it was got the message across that I didn’t agree with war. I distinctly remember one of my friends turning to me and saying “Wait are you anti-war?” I didn’t respond, but gave her a “duh” look. Her only feedback to me was “Get out”. That obviously wasn’t something that my friend was okay with. The way she saw it, I was being an ignorant child by disagreeing with war.

The other day the radio was on in my dorm bathroom while a bunch of us girls were getting ready in the morning. Pretty soon after walking in, the air raids on Syria were mentioned. I had found out about it the night before thanks to my handy dandy news app on my tablet. It was troubling to me then, and from the look on my friend’s face, it was just as troubling to her. My other friend was standing across the bathroom, but heard all the same things we did. Her response was fairly amusing to me actually. She said that she wished she could just walk into a UN meeting, or even better a meeting of all the world leaders and sing to them a song. I’m sure you can guess which one she was thinking of. That great, catchy tune why can’t we be friends.

At this point I was still pretty upset over the air raids so I kind of gave her a weak smile, and thought to myself “and they would tell you you are being an ignorant little child who doesn’t understand the workings of the world” (you know, if they didn’t kill her first).

Here’s my question.

Think of two children. They start fighting over something, it could be something extremely stupid, or it could be something that even us knowing adults can understand the conflict in. Would you just sit there and allow the children to beat the snot out of each other? What if they were conniving enough to get other children to fight each other for them? Would you just sit there and let the violence happen? The general consensus (as I understand it) is no. Of course you wouldn’t allow the children to be subject to this violence. You would stop it as soon as you could and tell them (common guys I know you know this) to talk it out. Or maybe not talk it out, just drop it all together. (Dropping it all together don’t necessarily work, but that’s an idea for another day). Bottom line, you wouldn’t allow them to resort to violence. You would probably yell at the kids for getting other children involved if they did. You would make sure that the children got the message that violence is not okay.

So why then, is war okay?

Now I know some of you are thinking, “Uh… Jenny it’s a pretty big leap to go from two children fighting to war”. Okay, so… bring it up through all the ages. Doesn’t matter how old you are, generally the consensus is that violence is not okay. I know some of you still thinking I’m making too big a leap. You can’t compare two people conflicting to countries conflicting. Why? Because on the country level it’s too big of a scale, much different from two people jut disagreeing.

You’re right. Because with two people, thousands upon thousands of people aren’t being killed.  Two people might just get beat up if they disagree. People don’t even agree with that. Why then, would they agree with war? Maybe I’m just an optimistic 18 year old, but I have to believe that there’s a better way.