You know what gets me mad? When people say they understand depression. They think that if they've studied it enough they know whats going on. They think that because they have friends who have dealt with it and told them about it that they understand. They think that they know the signs for depression. They think that they alone can help it.
Look, I'm gonna be that jerk to tell you right now that unless you have felt the heart wrenching depression that people suffer from, you don't understand it. Unless you have literally felt that weight of sorrow and hopelessness, and worthlessness, you don't understand. And when I say literally, I mean you can literally feel that weight crushing down on you. It feels like you can't breath. You can't understand the point of being alive, because no one would ever want a piece of rubbish like you. No one would mourn for very long if you suddenly weren't there.
In seventh grade I was so far down in a deep hole that I didn't think that anyone would ever be able to come to me. My friend wrote me...I'm not sure if you'd call it a poem, but it was poem-like about how there isn't a light switch that you can just turn on when you hit Rock Bottom. Thankfully at that point I was on the recovery, and it actually made a difference. But let me tell you, a few months before that, I didn't want to find a light switch, because in my mind, if I found a light switch, I was probably going to be taking some light away from someone else, and I had no right to anyone's light, and I certainly didn't have any myself.
Rock Bottom is a scary place. But you know what's really messed up?
It also feels like a safe place. You don't want to leave the one thing you know, because at least you know what emotions you're dealing with at Rock Bottom. If you try to change, who's to say that you won't have to deal with something even worse.
Over a year ago I posted about making sure that you help those people who need to be helped, listen to the listeners. I think it is only fair to tell you, that those people who are with my old friend Rock Bottom, they are not going to be reaching out. You will not know that they need you for the most part, until they've already made mistakes. Most people down there are not strong enough to cry out for help, or more likely, don't believe that they deserve help. Show them you care. And no, this doesn't mean try to be the hero for that depressed kid you've never talked to, even if you don't want to be. To make a real difference, you actually have to want to make one.
If your best friend is going through a really hard time, theoretically you're genuinely going to want to help them. But what about that weird kid who keeps to themselves in the corner? You've never really given them a second thought. But maybe you listen to a song, or a read a story, or even read this blog post and you want to be a hero. Look I'm not saying that you can only help people you've talked to before, oh my word no I'm not saying that, don't misinterpret this. But what I am saying is you can't help someone if you go into it just wanting to be a hero. You have to go into because you want to help them. Not to feel better about yourself but because you understand that they are worth something. You believe that they deserve better than they are giving themselves.
Every time I write a post on here I hope it changes someone's point of view on what I'm talking about, or maybe even just gets them to think. Although most of my posts are heavy deep and real, they are not to depress the crap out of you. I promise, I wouldn't wish depression on my worst enemy (that might actually be because I don't hate anyone, but you know. It's a nice thought that I'd be that kind). But I know that there are people out there like me, who need help. And I know that there are people out there like you who can help them. So, next time a friend's looking down, or isn't talking as loud as they normally do, or avoiding eye contact, or doodling instead of engaging (and those doodles are not hearts with some cute guy/girl in them), stop talking about yourself for a day. Just ask them about them. Show them that you really want to know, and you do really care. Help them.
And for those of you like me who are reading this post, I promise it's not as bad as it seems to ask for help. Rock Bottom isn't the best place there is. Trust me. There is someone out there who loves you. I know that everyone says this, and normally I'm always like, wow that's a load of crap, but I seriously do love each and every one of you who reads this blog. I will be praying for you who need help, and those of you who want to help, but don't know how. There is always someone out there. Even if they're on the other side of the world.
God Bless You All. Stay Safe.
Remember there is someone who loves you always.
